Houseguests
by Twilight-chan
Summary: Haroku-sama and her alter ego pay a visit to the Gundam boys, as well as inviting a few other people to the party... (Yuck! Yaoi free! I can't beleive it!)


This is what happens when I'm in a dark room after eating half a batch of brownies   
and watching Endless Waltz. Those who do not appreciate sick humor, cursing and   
(non graphic) orgies, DO NO READ. To get the beginning of this, you have to have   
read The Magic Bean. Excuse my typos, I'm typing on my sh!tty computer with the   
sticking keyboard.  
  
PS: Haroku-sama is TC's evil authoress split personality.  
  
Disclaimer:   
Haroku: I don't own Gundam Wing. Get it through your thick heads. Yama-chan?  
Yama-chan: We aren't making money on this, and Haroku is only 13, so if you sue,   
basically what I'm trying to say is YOU WON'T GET JACK $H!T!!!!!!  
Haroku: Thank you.  
  
~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~¤~  
  
The cast is hanging out at one of Quatre's super-huge houses. (ya know, tea,   
flamingoes, big rooms, etc) They're all sitting around in the living room doing pretty   
much nothing.  
  
Duo: Hey, remember that time at Relena's when Heero had that over-sugared   
coffee?   
Heero: I don't know what you're talking about. u.u*  
Quatre: Hah! I do! Remember when he thought he was Buddha? ^-^ ~sips tea~  
Wufei: That was not funny. u.u*  
Trowa: …thought he was God, too. ///.^  
Hilde: Yeah, that reminds me… Duo, how did your hair grow back so fast?  
~Duo, Quatre, and Trowa exchange glances~  
D, Q, T: Coffee magic.  
Dorothy: _ Yeah, and then Haroku-Sama showed up and… oops…  
~glitter and smoke poofs out of nowhere and the all-powerful Haroku-Sama (with   
her alter ego Hamike-Sama) appears~  
Haroku-Sama: Qua-chan! ~leaps next to him on the couch and starts making out   
with him~  
Quatre: ~does not mind this~  
Duo: How come he gets all the girls?  
Heero: (under his breath) thanks a lot, Dorothy.  
Haroku-Sama: ~lets go of Quatre long enough to reply~ I heard that! ~snaps her   
fingers, and his jeans get changed back to those ugly spandex shorts. Relena   
giggles.~  
Heero: (under his breath) omae a korosu.  
Hamike-Sama: You all should behave. We're expecting guests. ~everyone facefaults   
and pales~ O.o  
Catherine: Guests? &^-^&   
Hamike-Sama: Yes. Back to your pointless activity.  
Sally: (whisper) I wonder who these guests are?  
Relena: Don't know.  
Dorothy: I hope they're cute! ^-^  
~Everyone rolls their eyes~  
~Haroku-Sama starts unbuttoning Quatre's shirt.~  
Hamike-Sama: (whisper) lets keep this PG rated.  
Quatre: ~comes up for air~ ~gives Hamike his aquamarine puppy-dog eyes~ 9.9  
Hamike-Sama: Fuck that! He is just too cute! ^-^  
Wufei: Hnh. Onnas.  
Haroku-Sama: ~is still making out with Qua-chan, snaps her fingers and Wufei's   
hair grows out of that awful ponytail and he sprouts a pink dress.~  
Wufei: AAAGHH! INJUSTICE! Get it the fuck OFF! ~facefaults and sweatdrops~   
o.O;;;;  
Duo: ~laughs~ Lookin' good, girly-guy! ^-^//\\//\\=  
Wufei: ~frantically tries to tear off the dress while chasing Duo out of the room   
with a katana~ Come back here, you weakling! MAXWELL!!!   
Haroku-Sama: ~finishes with Quatre, who is now shirtless~ Those guests should be   
arriving soon.  
~more glitter and smoke, and a confused-looking group of space outlaws appears~  
Gene Starwind: Uh… this doesn't look like Blue Heaven. ^-^=  
Jim Hawking: Told ya we should've followed my way. u.u*  
Aisha ClanClan: Shut up, there's cute guys here! =^-^=//\\//\\O ~eyes the   
Gundam pilots, minus Duo and Wufei, who are off killing each other~  
Heero: ~utters a cough that sounds suspiciously like 'bigboobedslut!'~ ^-^  
Haroku-Sama: ~grabs Quatre~ Mine!  
Gene: ~eyes the Gundam Girls~  
Dorothy: Hey! I know you guys! You have a trailer on Endless Waltz! _  
Gene: ~puts on a very manly face~ Yep. You're looking at the crew of the Outlaw   
Star. I'm Gene Starwind. ^-^=  
Jim: Jim Hawking. ~tries to be manly, but only succeeds in looking super-cute, since   
he is eleven~ ^-^  
Catherine: Aaaaiieee! You are too adorable! ~picks him up and hugs him~   
Jim: ~facefaults, face turns blue~ O.O hgnk… dammit…  
Melfina: Forgive their manners. I'm Melfina. ~extends a hand, they all shake it~ ^-  
^  
Aisha: Aisha ClanClan! ~nudges Heero~ but you can call me honey! =^-^=//\\//\\O  
Heero: ~sweatdrops, utters another cough that sounds a lot like 'silicone!'  
Trowa: …who's the secluded one in the corner?  
Suzuka: ~leaps out, menacing him with her lethal wooden sword~ Secluded?  
Trowa: … you seem quiet. ///.^  
Suzuka: ~withdraws her sword~ hnh. I wouldn't be talking, child.  
~Wufei and Duo come rolling in from the other room and stop when they see the   
newcomers~  
Duo: ~sees Aisha's long, long long (etc.) white braid~ Hi. ^#^//\\//\\=  
Aisha: ~sees Duo's long, long long, (etc.) brown braid~ Hi. =^#^=//\\//\\O  
Noin: Who's that cute little pink robot?  
Gilliam II: ~sweatdrops, introduces himself~ -0- (AN: it would be boring for it   
to be like 'G2: I am G2.')  
Haroku-Sama: So, where did you guys manage to land the Outlaw Star?   
Jim: Well, there was this big primitive robot thing in the way…   
Wufei: O.O ~panics, looks out window and sees a barely recognizable green gundam   
crumpled underneath a red grappler ship~ NAAATTAAAAKKUUUUUU!!!!! ~starts   
crying~   
Sally: Huh. Weakling.  
Gene: Is that what it's called? Do you guys run a museum or something? ^-^=  
Heero: Hell no! Those are our gundams, high tech military weapons!  
Jim: ~snorts, under her breath~ high tech my ass. ^_~  
Hamike-Sama: Well, you guys kinda went back in time. *^-^*  
Jim. Ha! No wonder.  
Gundam Pilots: Hey! O.o  
Hamike-Sama: Be nice. We should be getting more soon.  
All (except for Aisha and Duo, who are gazing at each other lovingly): MORE???   
o.O   
Haroku-Sama: What the fuck?? Who cares? ~goes back to making out with   
Quatre~   
Dorothy: Yay! I like guests! ^-^  
Trowa: …how the hell will they get here? Magic fairy dust? ///.^  
~two lumps in the rug suddenly rise up~ __/\_/\__  
Hamike-Sama: Dimensional Transporter.  
Rug Lump 1: Washu, I thought you fixed it! This is obviously NOT my room!  
Rug Lump 2: I did! I just switched some of the coordinates as an experiment!  
~A bewildered pink-haired scientist and an angry-looking teenager emerge from   
under the rug~   
Tenchi: Told you! Where are we? ^-^~  
Washu: Those coordinates I entered must have been way off.  
Heero: Tell me about it.  
Tenchi: Who are you? What are we doing here?  
All (except for Aisha, Duo, Hamike-Sama, and Haroku-Sama-Quatre who are now   
more than kissing): Ask her. ~points to Hamike-Sama~  
Hamike-Sama: I'm Hamike-Sama the authoress' alter ego, that's Haroku-Sama,   
the…er…shirtless authoress… they're the cast of Gundam Wing, and they're the   
crew of the Outlaw Star.   
Washu: Wow! Look at all that primitive machinery outside! Oh, except for that   
starship. Can I take it apart and examine it? ^-^  
Gundam Pilots: HELL NO!  
Washu: Party-poopers.  
Tenchi: Washu, we need to get back home. We can't spend time here! ^-^~  
Catherine: Oh yes you can! ~grabs him, and he sweatdrops~  
Jim: I feel your pain.   
~Wufei is still crying over Nataku~  
Hamike-Sama: Wufei, lighten up. There's still more to come! *^-^*  
All (I mean all this time): oh shit, MORE??????? ~sweatdrops and facefaults~!   
@-@;;;;;  
Wufei: More people to destroy and insult my Nataku! WAAAAHHH!!!!!!  
Haroku-Sama: ~comes up for air~ No respect! No privacy! Come, Qua-chan! ~leads   
a very happy-looking, lipstick-covered Quatre down the hall~ ^~^  
Relena: Phew! No more orgies to watch.  
Duo and Aisha: Whattya mean no more? ~can't stand the tension any longer and   
start making out~ =//\\//\\^-^=^-^=//\\//\\O  
Relena: ~shrugs~ 'f you can't beat 'em, might as well join 'em! ~jumps on Heero~  
Melfina: ~shakes head, looks at Gene~   
Gene: C'mere, you! ~attacks Melfina~ ^~^=  
Noin: Zechs… it's been one hour and 28 minutes… ~you can guess~  
Lady Une: Treize-Sama! ~brings him back to life, then joins the party~  
Haroku-Sama and Quatre: ~come back~ ORRRRGYYY!!!!  
Everyone who isn't making out with someone: ~sweatdrops~ Kids these days.  
~a group of very confused looking kids materialize out of nowhere… Wow! It's a   
small section of the Digidestined!~  
02 Yamato: (sarcastic) The Digital World has changed since the last time I was   
here.  
02 Taichi: (sarcastic for the first part) Oh yeah, I know. But we're not there.  
01 Sora (because she was way cooler in 01): ~sees the group of people sitting in the   
living room either making out or looking astonished~ ~half of the guys are covered   
in lipstick or have their shirts off~~covers 01 T.K.'s eyes~  
02 Mimi: Are any guys here single? ^-^  
~Trowa and Jim raise their hands~  
Mimi and Sora: Oooh, not a lot. I get the older one! Dammit!  
Taichi: What about girls?  
~Dorothy, Catherine, Washu, Suzuka and Hamike-Sama raise their hands~  
Yamato: Heh. Cool.  
Daisuke: The pink-haired chick is mine!  
Older Koushirou: No way! Check out that prodigious computer system she's got!   
She's all mine!  
Washu: Boys, boys, there's enough ancient space genius to go around.  
Koushirou: Did she say GENIUS?  
Washu: Sure I did, hunny. Now let me examine your molecular structure. ~glomps   
Koushirou~  
Koushirou: wow… ^-^;;;  
Sora: We didn't come here to find dates! We need to—mpphahahahaaehaoheaahaa!   
~busts out laughing at all the speechless-looking shirtless teenagers~  
Hamike-Sama: ~gets over her shock~ Yama-chan! ~Pulls him onto the couch and   
starts making out with him~  
Sora: NO! Matt, bad example! ~continues to cover T.K's eyes~  
Yamato: He needs to find out sooner or later! ~goes back to making out with   
Hamike-Sama~  
Sora: ~shrugs~ okay then… ~uncovers T.K's eyes  
T.K.: ~giggles~ ahahahaa, Matt, wait till I tell Mom!  
Matt: MMh! Mm Mmmhmm. You know what… whatever. ~Hamike-Sama pulls him   
back down~  
Dorothy: ~gets over her shock~ DAVISSSS!!!!! ::glomps::  
Daisuke: AAAAGGHHH!!! Some evil digimon with spikes on her forehead is glomping   
me!!!  
Taichi: ~rolls eyes~ If *only* we had our digimon.  
Daisuke: T.T ~ big tear lines~ Why does everyone pick on me?  
All the girls: ~smack Dorothy aside and glomp Daisuke. There comes a collective   
AWWWWWWWW!!!!! that shakes the foundation of the house.~  
Daisuke: ^-^ I could get used to this…  
  
Later: All the couples have basically finished their makeout sessions. The   
Digidestined (except for Koushirou, who decided to stay with Washu and run away   
and elope) have gone off to battle another annoying nemesis, Gene is telling   
Catherine, Relena, Dorothy, and WashuKoushirou (since they haven't let go yet)   
about his heroic space adventures, Duo is stroking Aisha's braid, and basically this   
whole thing is winding down.  
Gene: … and then, these evil space pirates were on our tail, right? ^-^=  
WashuKoushirou: Oh, like Ryoko?  
Gene: Ryo-who? Never mind, yeah. So then, I was like, grappler combat mode! So   
then we went into grappler combat mode, and I was like…  
Tenchi: Washu, when are you going to fix the dimensional transporter?  
WashuKoushirou: Oh, you can use it. It wasn't broken, it just went to a different   
location. I'll be home after my honeymoon to re-enter the coordinates.  
Tenchi: ~sweatdrops~ NOW she tells me. ~hops under the rug and is gone in a   
flash of pink light~  
Jim: Gene, don't you think we should be leaving soon?   
Gene: Hang on, lemme finish my story. So then, we were like floating through   
space, right?…  
Suzuka: I agree, Jim. But first I must have my evening tea. ~whips out a steaming   
cup from teaspace (1)~  
Quatre: Tea?? That stuff's for weaklings. ~whips out some espresso from   
coffeespace (2)~  
Duo: ~sweatdrops~ Quatre?! You drink coffee?  
Quatre: What did you think made me go insane in the Wing Zero? Earl Grey? ~sips   
espresso, then downs it~ Ahhhhhh!  
Suzuka: Not the kind of tea I drink. ~sips it daintily~  
Aisha: Yeah, how do you think she gets the energy to do all those secret   
techniques with her bokuto?  
Quatre: Lemme try! ~grabs her tea cup and takes a gulp~ ~face turns bright red   
and eyes turn into little spirals, and he flies up through the roof~  
Trowa: Damn! If it does that to Quatre…  
Haroku-Sama: Quatre! Don't leave me! T.T  
Quatre: ~walks in from the hallway~ Hey, guys. What'd I miss?  
Everyone: ~falls over, sweatdrops~  
Haroku-Sama: Thank goodness you're back! Just in time to say goodbye to our   
guests.  
Relena, Dorothy, Catherine, WashuKoushirou (who are still listening to Gene's   
story): Goodbye?! Already?  
Hamike-Sama: ~solemnly~ Yes, I'm afraid so. Come, Outlaw Star crew. It is time to   
leave.  
Suzuka: First, there is something I must do. ~walks over to Trowa and kisses him   
for… a really long time~ Silence is golden. ~winks~  
Gene, Jim, Melfina, Aisha, Gilliam: O.x  
Trowa: … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …  
~After recovering from shock, the crew of the Outlaw Star boards their ship and   
blasts off, and Wufei is forced to look away to keep from seeing the crumpled   
remains of Nataku~  
Wufei: ~sob~  
Sally: Weakling.  
Hamike-Sama: You all behaved wonderfully! Thanks so very much. Come, Haroku-  
Sama, we must plan who to invite for our next guests…  
Everyone: X.x x.X X.x x.X X.x X.x x.X X.x…  
  
*~ The End~* Or so they hope…  
  
Heero: Quatre, would you mind telling us the moral of this horribly bizarre tale?  
Quatre: Haroku-chan swallows!  
Haroku-Sama: ~running in from the distance making train sounds with a cloud of   
dust behind her, looking very pissed~ QUAAAAATRREEEEE!!!!!!!!!  
  
1. In the vicinity of hammerspace, only it's where Suzuka gets her tea from.  
2. Same as above, only slightly to the left and above teaspace, and it's where   
Quatre gets his coffee.  
  
AN: O-kay! You like? Hehe! There should be a bit of a sequel, where the  
gundam boys (as well as a few others) get their revenge on the unsuspecting TC!  
This was written when I *wasn't* a rabid yaoi fan. Sure brings back memories...  
Please R&R!  



End file.
